time to smoke my breakfast
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
