why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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