no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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