I cockslap morals
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
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