Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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