i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
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