I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Someone came in the potted fern
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
