Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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