Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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