So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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