Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize