god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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