Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
The beer is more important than you right now.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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