I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
