i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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