What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
