but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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