So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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