My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
