so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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