Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
And then my night got REAL pukey
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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