what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
