i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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