How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
