I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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