Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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