I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
