my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize