Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
