Im at strip club and am horny
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
