Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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