I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
