Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
