my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
