So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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