You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
