And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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