Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
