How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
