I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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