u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
