They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Randomize
