it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
