Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
