Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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