so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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