Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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