Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
if only i could text you this smell
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
