She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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