Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
