FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
