the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
