from now on my penis is your penis
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Don't tell me you're on acid again
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
