sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
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