People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
