As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
