No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize
