Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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