i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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