You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
