He is such a slut. More and more my type.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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