all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
