it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
